RFP: Levity in Limbo

From Mr. Tony Woodlief, à la C.S. Lewis from the Screwtape Letters:

Solicitation Number: 666-ACKH-666666

Title: Request for Proposals, Levity in Limbo

Synopsis: The purpose of this announcement is to seek qualified contractors with the capability to provide presentations for The Department of Eternal Torment, Low-Grade Irritation and Annoyance Management Team with experience in meeting the objectives as described herein.

The Contractor shall provide eleven 43-hour Levity in Limbo programs that will discuss the importance of humor in close quarters, the relationship between humor and an ability to dream up fresh ways of tormenting our charges, and why humor is one of the best ways to stay grounded below ground. Participants shall experience how to develop short humorous skits of everyday work life in Hell. The presenter shall refrain from any reference to He Who Shall Not Be Mentioned, and endeavor to stay on schedule. This is a business environment and we need the presenter to address a business audience. As there is no leaving Hell, all Contractors must already be dead with their souls forfeit. Special preference will be given to post-1990 Saturday Night Live writers, morning drive-time radio personalities, and anyone responsible for employing Pauly Shore, Gilbert Gottfried, or Bob Saget.

Tony’s humorous take on a Request for Proposal in hell is in response to this actual RFP put out by the U.S. Department of Treasury:

“Participants shall experience demonstrations of cartoons being created on the spot. The contractor shall have the ability to create cartoons on the spot about BPD [Bureau of Public Debt] jobs.”

Of course, Tony is better at putting words together much more eloquently than I…so go read him!

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